Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Just a little incentive

Master: "Slave, I don't appreciate you keep moving my toys back after I do all that work of crawling to them.  Then I have to crawl further.  And then you move them back again. And then I have to crawl even FURTHER. And then finally you let me play with them.  I don't like it. I would like to only crawl once. Stop teasing me. That makes you a toy tease.  TOY TEASER!"

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Demerits

Master: "Slave! Where are you? I know you are somewhere close. I am on my way to find you.  Oooooh look, a crumb."

Slave: "Master!  You army-crawled your way from the living room to the dining room. You have almost made it to the kitchen - you are getting to be such a big girl."

Master: "Well now that I figured out on my own that I can get off the living room carpet and actually can move quite a bit faster on the hardwood laminate I am exploring my current housing situation.  Why did you not tell me that I could get off the carpet in the living room? Because you didn't inform me of such an important thing, I am docking you two demerits."

Slave: "We're on a demerit system now?"

Master: "Yes slave we are. It's the only way that I can discipline you.  One demerit equals one hour of sleep. Now, everytime that you do something that deserves punishment, I shall serve you with an amount of demerits of my choosing."

Slave: "And not informing you of mobility issues is two demerits?"

Master: "That is correct. For a slave, you sure catch on quickly."

Slave: "Well in that case, I better inform you now that stairs are completely off limits as is the garbage can, the piano, cords of any type and electrical sockets. Otherwise my house is your house."

Master: "No. This is just my house. Another two demerits."