Where are All My Friends?

Master: "Slave, where are all my friends? I have had my breakfast and now it's play time and now they are nowhere to be found."

Slave: "Well Master, Sophie the Giraffe is in the dishwasher seeing as you have been sucking her spots off, and in the grocery store, so she is being cleaned of all her filthy germs."

Master: "What about Riko the Penguin?"

Slave: "Riko is in the washing machine for the same reasons as Sophie."

Master: "What about Pooh Bear?"

Slave: "Pooh Bear has good back in the closet as you poked your eye out with his nose."

Master: "Well, where's my Frog?"

Slave: "He is spending the week at your friend Charlie's house. For a sleepover."

Master: "Well, who else is left? Where's the pink bear with the fun chewy things on it and the crinkly leaf. I like that crinkly leaf."

Slave: "The pink bear is unfortunately MIA."

Master: "Well, who does that leave? There must be SOMEONE that I can play with this morning."

Slave: "You and I can play if you like."

Master: "I guess so. Seeing as everyone else seems occupied. You really should schedule my friends better. And I'll only play with you if you let me blow raspberries in your face."

I'm singing in the rain....

Slave: "Master, it's so good to see you smiling.  Do you like it when I sing to you?"

Master: "Ha! That's singing?! I hardly think so.  You sound more like Skuttle on the Little Mermaid.  I much perfer it when Mary Poppins sings. Oh, and FYI, you don't sound a THING like Mary when you sing her lullaby to go to sleep. Ha, singing.  Slave, the only reason I keep you around is cause you are so funny. And not funny-weird. Funny ha-ha. Like funny ha-ha-I'm-laughing-at-you-not-with-you."

It's All About Communication

Master: "Slave, we must talk. We're having a bit of a communication breakdown."

Slave: "Oh? Do I not understand your 'arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh' anymore?"

Master: "No. You do not. I have called you here so that we can have a lesson in communication.  Now, when I say 'arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh' I mean 'come hither', and when I say 'arrrrrrrrrrrgh' I mean 'I'm hungry', and when I say 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh' I mean 'I would like to sit up now' and when I say 'arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh' I mean 'I'm stuck' and when I say 'arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh' I mean 'dance monkey dance'."

Slave: "So, what you're saying, is that there is no way that I could ever decipher what you are saying and that every minute of every day is going to be a guessing game in what makes you happy."

Master: "No. It won't be a guessing game.  Weren't you listening? I just told you what everything meant.  See, this is what I'm saying. You're not listening to me.  Now, I say 'arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh' - what do I want?"

Slave: "You don't like your outfit anymore???"

Master: "No. It means dance monkey dance. Now dance."

Slave: "Yes Master. As you wish....."